On Not Flying to Hawaii

I could be the waitress
in the airport restaurant
full of tired cigarette smoke and unseeing tourists.
I could turn into the never-noticed landscape
hanging identically in all the booths
or the customer behind the Chronicle
who has been giving advice
about stock portfolios for forty years. I could be his mortal weariness,
his discarded sports section, his smoldering ashtray.

I could be the 70-year-old woman who has never seen Hawaii,
touching her red lipstick and sprayed hair.
I could enter the linen dress
that poofs around her body like a bridesmaid,
or become her gay son
sitting opposite her, stirring another sugar
into his coffee for lack of something true to say.
I could be the reincarnated soul of the composer
of the Muzak that plays relentlessly overhead,
or the factory worker who wove this fake Oriental carpet,
or the hushed shoes of the busboy.

But I don't want to be the life of anything in this pitstop.
I want to go to Hawaii, the wet, hot
impossible place in my heart that knows just what it desires.
I want money, I want candy.
I want sweet ukelele music and birds who drop from the sky.
I want to be the volcano who lavishes
her boiling rock soup love on everyone,
and I want to be the lover
of volcanos, who loves best what burns her as it flows.

Alison Luterman

14.1.10

Old School

 IMG00081Recently, while cleaning out my shed, I came across a bag of clothes. I knew that if I put it in my shed, that I must have stored them there to hold on for a reason. I’m usually pretty good about throwing out clothes that I don’t wear anymore. And I try to only hold on to the ones that are truly sentimental. When I opened the bag, I found that it was full of “sentimental” clothes. I was able to tear myself away from old prom and concert t-shirts, but I couldn’t throw away this sweatshirt. I got this sweatshirt when I was on the school swim team. I really have no clue as to what year it’s from; I swam on the team competitively for nine years. After sixteen years, it was still in perfect shape. It’s been fun wearing it and reminiscing about my years as a “Flying Fish.”

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